To talk to new people without being awkward, stop hunting for the perfect line. Say hello, comment on something you both see, and ask a simple question.
I’m Robert Kubaiko, a men’s confidence coach in Phoenix. I’ve been there: I didn’t know what to say, and my mind conjured up the “right” thing to say. Today I chat with strangers in checkout lines. You can learn to talk to new people without awkwardness too.
Key takeaways
- Awkwardness comes from overthinking, not a lack of skill.
- People like you more after a chat than you think.
- It’s a habit you build in small steps.
Why Do You Feel Awkward Talking to New People?
Your brain is judging you while the other person talks, so you miss what they said. I used to make excuses too, like a bad day or letting anxiety stop me.
People like you more after a conversation than you think. It’s called the “liking gap,” and in one study, the shyer the person, the bigger the gap (The British Psychological Society, September 2018). Chicago commuters who talked to a stranger reported happier rides than those who sat alone (Chicago Booth Review, December 2014). Let that change your mindset.
How to Talk to New People Without Being Awkward: 10 Tips
1. Start With a Simple Hello
Take baby steps. At the grocery store or the park, just say, “Hey, good evening.”
2. Comment on What’s Happening Around You
Comment on your surroundings, like the music at a concert.
3. Keep Your Introduction Simple
Even “Hey, my name’s Bill. What’s your name? And what do you do for a living?” works.
4. Ask Questions That Invite a Real Answer
In a checkout line, ask, “Anything fun going on?” At an event, I’ll ask, “So, how do you guys know each other?”
5. Listen and Build Your Next Question From It
I listen to what they’re saying and base another question on that.
6. Share a Little About Yourself
Answer your own question briefly. Conversation is a trade.
7. Let Short Pauses Happen
Silence isn’t failure. Breathe, then continue.
8. Use Open, Confident Body Language
Face them, uncross your arms, and smile. It’s part of how to be a confident man.
9. Practice Talking to Everyone
My biggest tip: make conversations with guys, old ladies, and the cashier. Someone in a checkout line once told me, “I thought those people were with you.” I said, “No, I’m just a very social person.” You’re building a habit.
I also took an improv class. It taught me how to think and communicate on the fly, so I’m not thinking about what to say next.
10. End Well or Make a Specific Plan
If you click, name the activity, place, and time: “There’s a trivia night Thursday at 7. Want to come?”
What to Say to New People: Conversation Starters by Situation
| Situation | Opener | Follow-up |
| Checkout line | “Anything fun going on?” | “Any plans this weekend?” |
| Work event | “How do you know the host?” | “What’s the best part of your job?” |
| New neighbor | “How long have you lived here?” | “Any good food spots nearby?” |
| New city | “I just moved here. What shouldn’t I miss?” | “How did you end up here?” |
| Party | “So, how do you guys know each other?” | Ask about their answer |
New in town? Try Meetup or Eventbrite. I run my own Meetup group, and a lot of people come to meet someone new.
How to Not Be Awkward When Meeting New People
How do I talk to strangers without being awkward?
Say hello, make one comment about the moment, and be fine leaving after one exchange.
How do I not be awkward when making new friends?
See the same people often and make the first invite. It takes roughly 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend (KU News, March 2018).
How do I talk to women without being awkward?
Be social with everyone first. Then read how to approach a woman, beat the fear of talking to women, or try men’s dating coaching.
What if talking to new people makes me anxious, not just awkward?
If fear disrupts daily life, see a licensed professional, because social anxiety disorder is more than shyness. Coaching works alongside therapy, not instead of it.
Start Talking to New People With Confidence This Week
When I don’t feel like talking to anyone, I tell myself: if you don’t feel like it, just do it. Use one tip three times this week. Believing in yourself grows with each small win.
I offer one-on-one confidence coaching for men over Zoom. Book your free 20-minute session.